Self Reflection

A thought passed through my mind, as I wanted to examine myself as an artist and see where my strengths and weaknesses are. It didn’t occur to me until I saw an anime called Blue Period, as it depicts about the main character’s reflection of himself in his compositions. Without going into much detail, the main character draws himself. In doing so, he notices right away the good and bad of his body. This scene caused for me to really dive deep into why I draw and what message I am trying to convey.

Having three kids, a wife who I adore and love, In-laws that I consider my parents, an apartment where I can sleep, eat and live in. I have a job where I make good money with coworkers & bosses who I enjoy working alongside. Everything in my life that I can reflect on were made with the utmost desire to keep stability. This bleeds into my art process. I am someone who keeps to the book, both in life and in my art. I cover up my insecurity of taking potential risks by keeping my work grounded and stable, however I place an insane focus on details to cover that glaring weakness.

It’s scary how much art reveals about oneself. The insecurities that I hide, both intentionally and accidentally. I often wondered what I was missing in my work. I sited and researched other artists and their methods of success. And when it comes to my work, I am methodical in critiquing and analyzing each mistake that I have created. I want the best possible result in the shortest amount of time. Grinding away and learning various tools to bolster my arsenal, trying to find the answer to my lifelong question. To truly understand what the beauty is in what makes art, art.

I started out my interest in art when I was about 4 years old. I would copy my father’s doodles that were drawn on his yellow notepad. He was fond of drawing little cartoonish cars. To me that was fascinating to see such little effort used to create an interesting design. I went on in life meeting and enjoying the company of other artists, who have all impacted me in one way or another. The crazy thing is nearly every time I would run across a friend or mentor, their artwork was always better than mine. It spurred this intense need to better myself, to prove to my counterpart that I was able to compete (Even if the person had no clue that I felt that way, kind of embarrassing really).

Fast forward to today, my art has evolved tremendously due to my beloved friends, family and my dear wife. I loved taking what I learned, even in the midst of passion and pursuit to be better. Incorporating each memory into the detail and designs of my paintings. Constructing art from the fabrics of my imagination, gathered from the inspirations of entertainment. Picked from the colored filled halls of Pinterest. To the final moments of adding my signature, then to publish online for all to see, believers and non believers.

The love I have for art stems from something prior to my birth. A God given desire to draw and create art that reflect’s my Master’s glory and majesty. In the midst of my writing here, I have learned that art is truly subjective. The true method of unlocking your potential comes from within. When you realize what your weaknesses are, then they become your greatest weapons for creating art that shakes the very foundations of your fellow peers and rivals. The realization that you only need to be yourself, and accept that you are unique in design, perfectly knitted together by the King of kings. I do hope this inspired you to some degree. I love sharing my journey with you all, learning from each of your designs and compositions. To allocate the title of Christian creative is one of high value to me, and will continue to be the focus as I devote my art to my Lord.

Let us continue to grow together and show the world what it means to be an artist. As stated in Blue Period, art is a language that is spoken without words. Where we can express and show the things that cannot be expressed by our mouths but instead with our hands!

-Fin

Justin R Fernandez